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1. |
Things in the World
05:48
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I want to make everyone
in the world so comfortable.
But over and over and over again
in all things I find some opposition.
If you try to satisfy all desire.
You’ll have to deny desire.
And I’ve heard for every flourishing thing
another poor thing has to decay.
If there is a oneness to all things
it’s one that always divides itself
I want to see in entirety
but the world’s too big to see.
Everything you’ve ever seen, touched, or heard
is just a small part of the world.
And whatever you do, wherever you go
you never get away from the world.
The world’s never stopped for anything
It’s callous, but you can call it uplifting
Reach out and all things can be felt,
but still the world always fights itself.
You know lives are ruined everyday
and everyday lives are saved.
It seems it has always been that way
and still it seems everything will change.
We should think of all the pain in the world
We should think of all the love in the world
Can you think of everything out there in the world?
Are you concerned for all the things in the world?
What can you say to make sense of it all?
O It’s just the way of the world
O I don’t know all the things in the world
I don’t know the way of the world
But we are all a part of the world
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2. |
Drinking Vinegar
02:47
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I’m tired and I’m hungry and I’m drinking vinegar.
It’s bitter and bitter, not bitter enough.
But it’s fine for me, if it’s good enough for the Lord.
But he was on a cross, I’m only feeling sorta sore.
Now I’m all alone with my righteousness,
but it doesn’t keep me good company.
I’ve found fault in everything I guess,
now I’m not so sure what I should just let be.
Living gets harder the longer you live,
but dying doesn’t seem to get easier.
Those who taketh don’t often give.
Maybe it’s not so wrong to need some savior.
There was a time I reveled in my goodness,
then I got the thought that doing that was evil.
Now I see it’s not so simple,
but I don’t want to know anymore, I just want to be humble.
Right now I see that loving the neighbor
means loving someone you’d rather not love.
It gets bitterer and bitterer but better than vinegar
and if you're doing it right it might get good enough.
The longer I live I feel more out of touch.
It’s not getting easier to love and understand.
I think I see so much evil going un-judged.
It’s not so wrong to need to be led by the hand.
I’m still tired and hungry and drinking vinegar.
It’s bitter and bitter, not bitter enough.
Now I think I’ll give water a try
coz I know the Lord did more than weep and cry.
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3. |
Crying Spells
09:01
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There’s not such a clear division
between tears of dejection
and tears of elation.
There’s always a drop of each in each -
some happiness in your sadness, some sadness in your happiness.
You don’t have control
over all that you feel.
And your body will press
up against your will.
Your hands will shake,
your cheeks will blush,
your lips will quiver,
your tears will rush.
And you can't stop it completely.
No matter how hard you try.
There’s not such a clear division
between thought and action.
It seemed so clear before, but then your mood affects your thought.
Don’t you act when you think, don’t you think when you act?
Opposites don’t only attract, they all blend together strangely too.
You don't have control
over all that you dream.
Your mind will press against
what the world imposes.
Your hands will shake,
your cheeks will blush,
your lips will quiver,
your tears will rush.
And you can't stop it completely.
O your hands shake
and your cheeks blush.
Your lips quiver
and your tears rush.
You can’t get your words
to come out right.
They come so fast,
but they’re surrounded by sounds.
Then they stop and start in fits and starts.
Your heart feels like it’s torn apart,
but you can’t quite get it out.
Is there such a clear division
between you and me or do we blend together
like tears and memories and dreams? Do you see such a difference between anything?
When you cry your nose stings the same and your eyes get so big every time.
You know it’s so real that’s the one thing you can feel for sure.
Do you have more control
over yourself than the world?
What separates
yourself from the world?
Are your hands shaking?
Are your cheeks blushing now?
Are your lips quivering?
Are your tears still rushing?
You know you can’t stop them
and now the whole world blends into your eye.
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4. |
Overtaken
05:08
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Overtaken
Overtaken
Overtaken now
Hey aren’t you
single-minded
some of the time?
Everything makes sense.
It makes such a difference
when you are
overtaken.
Overtaken
overtaken now
Oh one fixation,
just one fixation
I hear it gets quite bad.
Oh obsession
they say obsession
is quite insane
Overtaken
Overtaken
Oh it’s all the same
Put it this way,
put it that way,
it’s still the same.
Overtaken
Overtaken
Overtaken now
Oh aren’t you
single-minded too
some of the time?
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5. |
Infinite Resignation
03:18
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O well I expel you.
I get rid of you.
I dismiss you.
I cast you aside
out of my mind
to live on your own time.
The one I only think of
the one I think only of
the one I only thought of
the one I said I loved
Below and above
every side I loved.
Does the object
of your affection
become more an object
than a person?
Well I cast you aside
out of my mind.
You can always come back
in a different way, a better way, a nicer way.
Is it really love if you can just give it up?
Yes you can choose love or stop love or feel love or give love.
O well I expel you.
I get rid of you.
I dismiss you.
I cast you aside
out of my mind.
It’s done many times
You have to say some things
to hear they’re the wrong things.
You need to break some things
to find what they’re made of.
I focus all my love
so I know my love.
I say what I mean.
Is it too good to be true?
My language is clean.
I speak what I do.
I got rid of you
Now what should I do?
You can always come back
in a different way, a better way, a nicer way.
Is it really love if you can just give it up?
Yes you can choose love or stop love or feel love or give love.
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6. |
No More Marketing
03:17
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O honey it’s time you put
all your dating profiles to bed.
Coz now you’ve got a real live man
right here instead
No more living in
your pure possibility
yeah maybe we’ll have less
hyper-connectivity
And all your Facebook friends
know how love-lorn you have been
they giggle when you post
that you need a real boyfriend
But maybe you’d rather have
some images on a screen
that you summon then spurn
and barely choose between?
Instead of me
who always has the same face
and who can’t even seem to disappear
out of physical space
But you won’t ever have to wonder
what I look like in the flesh
or about the meaning behind
every email address
All your acronyms can go
you don’t need them now
Isn’t it nice we don’t have to wonder
what they mean anyhow
Oh but please don’t attach and detach
from me so easily
I know you could do that before
I’m sorry I’m not fancy free
Fewer mediations
won’t bother me.
But I hope you don’t miss your
ceaseless photography
And no more screen shots
of your heinous hilarious men
I hope you don’t miss too much
showing em to all your friends
But you don’t have to worry about
showing how fun your life can be
You don’t the burden of
consuming so conspicuously
Doesn’t everybody try finding
someone to spend their time?
but you shouldn’t have to market yourself
to find some fine guy
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7. |
Lie in Truth
07:02
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O I hate
those who take
my charity.
O I love
and reward
the refusers
Yes I test
and I learn.
I don't tell them.
And I trust
what I learn
only with trickery.
Can you get the truth
by telling the whole truth?
Don't you just get tricked
when you reveal what you think?
You don’t get the truth
if you don’t get it proved.
You take it on faith
and you’ll just be fooled.
O my God
acts the same
in the bible.
Yes He hides
and He tries
all the people.
O He’s fair
and quite aware
of all their desire.
O he knows
everything
But he tricks them to show them.
You say it’s not the same God
giving knowledge of love.
But didn't he still
keep some things to Himself?
Is it the same God
giving knowledge of love.
Doesn’t He still
keep some things to Himself?
O I don’t
trust at all
those giving easy love.
O the most
treacherous
don’t appear cunning at all.
O I must
struggle fast
to feel love at all.
O you think
it’s a gift.
You’ll find out what love is.
Offering anything
always comes with a price.
Everyone knows this
even though they try to deny
Yes everything
has to be bought.
If you think it’s free
you’re already caught.
O I hate
those who take
my charity
O I love
and reward
the refusers.
I don't forget
those who pass
any test.
No you don’t
have value
without proving it to me.
Shouldn't you earn
everything you can earn?
Is there some better way
to live and to learn?
You tell me I’m wrong?
Well I deal with facts.
It’s not a world view
not opinion, not abstract.
You don’t have to worry,
you will be fine.
If you prove worthy
I’ll love you, won’t I?
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8. |
What's New?
03:42
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Is there a time
to cut all your losses
and just float away
from your wishes and efforts
and who you are today?
Sometimes the thought of it
feels perfect to you.
For our whole lives
we’ve only seen changes accrue.
Still there’s always
something
sticking around.
How will you find
one permanent thing?
Would you hold it all your life?
I’d hold it with you
Still we would never know.
You ask what would happen
if all your values changed.
And I ask if that’s happened
and did nothing remain?
But who can know
what was bound
to happen before it happens?
Do you plan to
give up all your poems
to be a merchant on the sea?
It has been done before.
You see it in your sleep.
If your whole life changes
do you change too?
It seems there’s
some things you
can’t escape.
When you start out
your new born life
you still find places
where the old one
intertwines.
It makes you want to
cry but then you cannot cry
so the feeling remains.
Is something always true of change?
But what makes you
want to
maintain?
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9. |
Clean Language
09:22
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Did you spike the drink
to make everyone too comfortable to think?
Did you have a plan
or was it off the cuff?
Was it off the cuff?
It’s not your style to play very rough,
but you have a point
you must get across.
You must get across
across the room, across the thought
a cross to bear to say, to ask
“Is there a return?”
Is there a return
to innocence, not just for the guilty
but for everyone?
You ask it and you know.
You ask it and you know
everyone should be ready to listen
and listening’s not so bad
it’s the talking that you hate.
The talking you hate
is spilling into laughter and stumbling and sitting.
So is the party starting or ending?
You tell me right now.
You tell me right now
after pulling me aside
whispering the whole time,
“language is the problem.”
Language is the problem
you’re here to solve, as the host lays on the ground
and someone says louder than they mean to
“It makes us ashamed”
And it makes us ashamed
and amazed to sit and sway unable to say
any words at all, only sounds
under your spell.
Under your spell
you turn the music up and up
and only say shhhhh
shhhh hushhhhhhhh
Muttering grows
into your words at last aloud
you say nonsense is better than sense.
It is more honest.
It is more honest
to stop the struggle
to say what you mean
than to keep trying.
But you keep trying
as you say “words only serve to confuse everything.”
They suffuse everything with meaning
which should be reserved.
“Which should be reserved
the roar or the purr?”
I hear her ask and laugh
then the purring grows
The purring grows
into unintelligible talking. You cheer and say
that chatter from the other room you can't make out -
that's what talking really is.
“What talking really is
giving you what you need?
It just gives us shame,
I mean the knowledge of words.”
“The knowledge of words
is an inebriant—” “Oh give it a rest
what did you give us?” you say “yes I only want to
give it a rest”
“Give it a rest
give it some pause
let go of words, shhhh
there’s no clean language”
There’s no clean language
here anymore cackling and howling surrounds.
Are we frothing at the mouth? Not quite but
you want animal sounds.
You want animal sounds
you don’t talk anymore
you make faces, no communication,
then start rolling on the floor.
Rolling on the floor,
you cry and laugh, making gestures
trying to make us feel without words
and we mimic you.
We mimic you.
We’re wordless until
I see the moon,
and I say let’s take a walk to the moon.
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10. |
Something in Common
06:22
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And I'm sure you feel guilty
for feeling so sad sometimes.
While all the world is
shining around you,
and you cannot say if
there’s anything that you want.
O I don’t know all you think about
but I imagine when I'm alone
What flits around behind
yr wide grin
In your dark bars & pool halls
you don't reveal too much.
I know it feels wrong to remark on pain - I've felt the same
And I'm sure you feel guilty
for feeling so sad sometimes
Still wondering
if these things can be helped
while none of it seems like
a problem to solve
Do you precisely want something?
Is there something precise you want?
I've given up on those specific thoughts
But I still know what giving is
Are there objects that you love -
your simple blue dress or a hat?
Do you love a color? Do you cherish a sound? They’re all around
And I'm sure you feel guilty
for feeling so sad sometimes
There's no stasis in living
For us there's only rebuilding.
It’s done constantly, asking
is there desire to be?
You're never sure of what you can do.
There's always glimmers of doubt
about if you control how you feel
and if it matches with the world.
Does a bird flapping wings on a branch
think it’s flying? What’s illusory?
Is there any truth in our thoughts?
And I'm sure you feel guilty
for feeling so sad sometimes.
Eventually it gets hard not
to act like they think you will.
People think there’s an archetype
in place of you.
I've read it more than heard it -
it’s said "I can't be understood,
really no one can understand another" -
isn't that absurd -
I understand those words right away
and it’s easy to know pain
Still someday maybe we’ll get to know each other well
And I'm sure you feel guilty
for feeling so sad sometimes
Do you ever wonder if there’s
pleasure buried there?
Some night I might wonder whether
you use it as an excuse
Can sadness be a way of life?
Does it have its defenders
to love and cherish it?
Well, you've made me see
how loathsome I can be
without ever telling me
And all the silence is always the same
And I'm sure you feel guilty
for feeling so sad sometimes.
While all the world
still shines around us,
unsure as to
what we need and what needs us.
O I don’t know all you think about
but I’ll still try to find out
what goes on in your mind
while you keep quiet and turn away.
I won’t betray your complex thought
Can't we grasp it together?
You make me hope we’ve both felt the same.
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11. |
Chance Encounter
16:15
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I thought I saw you
just the other day
taking all my
trash away.
I thought I saw you
but I had to turn away
I’m afraid to say
I got quite afraid.
I thought I saw you
but appearances can change.
Oh I’m sorry no I didn’t mean
my garbage bags.
I thought I saw you
did you see me too?
do you feel
like I do?
What can I do for you now
that I haven’t done before
and done
all wrong?
It’s funny you’re here
in this crowded room.
You didn't know
I still lived here, did you?
It’s been some time.
We never moved
but I don’t know too many people
around here now.
It’s been some time.
You know in this room
you’re the one I know best
but I don’t know you as well as all the rest I assume.
It’s been quite some time
I wouldn’t think that
I could recognize your face
if I hadn't seen you in this place.
It’s been some time.
Have you felt that too
do months and years
seem shorter and shorter to you?
I want to relax.
I want to set you all at ease.
I want to smooth over
every rough ocean with a breeze.
Can you convey
yourself so well, in so few actions or words
that you’re sure
there’s no confusion stirred?
People laugh at that-
the things unsaid
that usually can’t be named
but if you don’t feel them, you’re so strange.
People laugh in your face
It molds your actions in school.
You remember when my pants fell down.
There’s less forgiveness for a fool.
People laugh in your face
if all your life you’re washing dishes
and people laugh
when they feel you’re too ambitious.
People laugh in your face.
We want the shame to spread
after we’re covered in shame
we want your face to feel as red.
You look well-rested
but you get no credit for that I’m told.
All these people work too much,
they’re proud of their constant colds.
What can I do for them now
that I haven’t done before
and done
all wrong?
Most of the time
I can’t find the right words
the rest of the time
I’m just afraid.
Most of the time
when I open out to the world
I’m closed to myself
and can’t tell how I feel.
Most of the time
when I know how I feel,
I’m sick of the world,
but it’s everything I want to heal.
Most of the time
So many things are happening
that we don't see
how did you recognize me?
How can we recognize each other so immediately?
I go in and out of others’ lives like a needle goes through cloth.
But I don't know that I carry any thread, bring anything together at all.
We’re not all the same,
everything’s more complex.
Take the word “good”
we can't even describe all it means in text.
We’re not all the same.
So why are our appearances
cast aside and denied
in favor of deeper things?
We’re not all the same
but even the quietest life
has feelings and times
of the same great turmoil and joy.
We’re not all the same,
but we all take so much
from appearances
and so quickly they can change
Well why did it take so long
for you to tell me
you don’t think you are
who I think you are?
No I swear it’s you
you must just feel more shame
than I ever have
to insist to deny your name.
So what can I do for you now
that I haven’t done before
and done
all wrong?
You never know
all you can take
from just one gesture,
from one particular face.
You never know
who loves or cares.
Everything can be denied.
I don’t know if everything can be shared
The world is in
a certain order one day,
then another the next
it makes us crumble, and we never know what will remain
You never really know
who sees you from far away.
It’s strange for me
but I’m glad you saw me today.
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12. |
Down Comforter
05:49
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If something is alive
then something else has died
to feed it
But maybe nothing dies
it’s just re-organized
but that’s not how we feel it
We are all so weak
but we all can speak
in some way
And I can hold your cheek
and find strength in telling each
other we’re ok
We don’t have full control
but you can choose to console
and that you won’t regret
Time takes no effort,
but time gives less comfort
the more of it we get
Now I wonder if there is
anywhere outside of time
and I wonder how we’d fit.
With all these obstacles
you may need some luck
to get anything done.
I’m sure you’ve found luck before
everything doesn’t have to be a chore.
You’ll find luck some day
you don’t have to win any race
You will find luck some day
you can call grace.
You don’t have to earn it all
You’ll find gifts and gifts will find you
you’ll get lucky some day
and you can choose what to do.
And you have time.
You can give life.
You’ve got time.
You can give time,
since you’ve got time.
You can speak any time.
You have time.
You can be nice right now,
you’ve got the time.
You can dive into a second.
You have the time.
You’re alive right now.
You have time.
Go use it now.
You’ve got time
You will be fine
You’ve got time
You can improve too
coz you’ve got time.
You’ve got an hour, a minute, a second -
you’ve got time.
Oh time,
go use it now.
You've got time.
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13. |
Warm Evening
04:57
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14. |
Heaven Question
05:54
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Sometimes there is a warm wind.
And sometimes there is a soft rain.
I’ll believe in a beautiful heaven
because it fills me with those good things.
Sometimes you communicate
And sometimes you’re understood
right away with no work at all.
In heaven is it always that way?
You can hear the wind rush faster
when a friend drives up to your house
Why can’t there be things you can’t explain?
I think I feel them everyday
Sometimes you see the sun set
and sometimes you see the sun rise
but it’s always there beautiful as ever
Is heaven the same?
You could have died many times in a day
You’ll never know how many times you were saved
There are so many open questions
But will the heaven question ever close?
Sometimes your darkness fades
But sometimes it can help you sleep
Every bad thing can be redeemed, just wait and see
Do you think that it can make sense?
Do you think you’ll ever be sure?
How could it be physical?
How could it be like anything we’ve seen?
Could it exist, apart from the world?
Is the world everything?
Maybe I believe it only cause I want it. Is that the wrong way to believe?
But what can I do with all these faults I’ve found?
O I’m sure that nothing else can comfort quite like heaven.
I’ll still believe it even if I shouldn’t based on evidence
I’ll still believe it, I’ll still believe it, I’ll still believe it
Sometimes you can feel love
And sometimes you can’t even say where it’s from
So still I’ll believe in a beautiful heaven
because it fills me with those good things.
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15. |
What You Can't Fear
03:55
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I want a new way to think.
I always find the same old problems.
I don’t know if there’s a way
to get out of the same old systems.
I want something so undeniable,
a clean language un-misconstrued.
But can you do anything beyond
rearranging the known world?
I don’t know what you can’t fear.
I don’t know all that’s out there.
Don’t you know the unknown isn’t clear?
The unknown isn’t fair or unfair.
O I’ve never been afraid of love
but right now I can picture it.
Do you look for the fearsome thing
to stay safe or because you can’t resist?
If you fear that you may love them
more than they are loving you,
that’s ok - you don’t need to be safe from love
you know you can embrace that too
I don’t know what you can’t fear
I don’t know all that’s out there.
Don’t you know there’s so much you can feel?
And when love changes, it still stays here
Don’t you know the more you fear,
the less likely they will come true.
In your fear you see so far
but you can see further still.
I know you can think beyond
all of your fear.
I know you can calm down.
You can give it a rest.
I want a new way to think
so maybe I’ll just keep switching.
Did we learn to fear late at night
when we’re not sure about existing?
I turn it over and over
in my mind but nothing’s revealed
then one moment the whole world turns
and I see everything new and clear
I don’t know what can you can’t fear
I don’t know all that’s out there
Maybe you’ll hear the whole world
in harmony and maybe it changes with you.
Don’t you know the more you fear,
the less likely they will come true.
In your fear you see so far
but you can see further still.
If you’ve got that deep down fear
that you have no significance
and you’ll never improve it or prove it
then here let me tell you -
you can give it a rest,
you’re significant like everyone else.
You don’t need to prove yourself -
you’ve got value, I know it’s true.
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Conductors Chicago, Illinois
"Mona tried to tell me
To stay away from the train line
She said that all the railroad
men
Just drink up your blood like wine
An’ I said, 'Oh, I didn’t know that
But then again, there’s only one I’ve met
An’ he just smoked my eyelids
An’ punched my cigarette' "
... more
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