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Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Christmas Suicides (Single), Bogged Down EP, Cold Comfort (Single), Seems Alien to Me, Give It A Rest, Familiar Failure, God Knows What, So Long, Calm EP, and 4 more.
1. |
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Spurned, jilted, and neglected,
I’m sick of songs all about feeling,
but that’s a feeling, that’s a feeling too.
You cannot avoid being in a mood.
We should not sing about
things about which we won't talk.
Sing about what’s strange.
Love’s well understood.
Love is unavoidable,
so it always resonates.
But that shouldn’t be the point -
don’t listen just to shake.
Spurned, jilted, and neglected,
I’m sick of songs all about feeling,
but that’s a feeling, that’s a feeling too.
You cannot avoid being in a mood
Oh yes people are betrayed,
and people don't make sense.
Understanding may not get you far.
Emotions are not hard to get.
I don't know if I'm wise.
Don’t know what dignity signifies.
I know everything is
personal for a person.
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2. |
Want To Be Sincere
05:23
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Want to be sincere
with you dear.
Want to be sincere
with you dear.
Unmediated
communication
Imagine just how it would be.
There would be no deceiving.
But I spose you can say too much.
I won't be false, but won't be obvious,
won’t be aggressive with feeling.
I know loving words can be threatening.
Wanna be an artist
not in a contest.
Art's not just anything.
It takes and makes feeling.
Some artists while they're breaking up
purse their lips and kiss their notebooks,
wait to hear how the other feels
on the next record release.
And cease to be sincere or direct
except to those they haven't met.
No more performing.
No more ignoring.
Can we be sincere
in spite of all our fear?
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3. |
Not Together
03:33
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When we became alone together
I thought all curtains would be
torn asunder.
But they do remain
unencumbered.
O how they remain
unencumbered.
You’re not s’posed to be
estranged from those you kiss,
but every one's
left me forsaken.
There is an eternal love
I've felt its trace,
but only tasted crumbs.
Seems that we're close -
walking a tight rope.
It’s not a thing that can be found.
Still I search unceasingly.
What does it take to make
sincerity?
Intimacy seems so easy
when I see it only
on the TV.
O what a funny thing
thinking of marrying.
O what a silly thing
thinking of marrying.
Disconnectedness
isn’t only in romance.
Separate friends and family
also warrant intimacy.
There is an eternal love
I've felt its trace,
but only tasted crumbs.
I lean in close -
you lean against the ropes.
I thought we didn’t want
to be so separate,
but everything
becomes a contest.
When we became alone together
I thought all curtains would be
torn asunder.
I can’t open them
all on my own.
I can’t open them
with just a diamond ring.
Love is not made
only by human hands.
It happens in between
those who love sincerity.
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4. |
Disorient, Dissent
02:12
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Disorient!
Forget the monument.
Disorient!
Forget those girls you’ve met.
Avoid the sidewalk!
[It’s narrow]
It smells of ammonia.
City wants your blood!
It knows where you’re going.
I’m in a situation -
Can’t escape from a situation
I’m always situated -
Defined by my situation
In different situations -
I'm different persons
I'm always missing
the best situations
Regular people,
crazy people,
pedestrians
live for pleasure.
Disorient!
Don't live like pedestrians.
Disorient!
Don’t live for pleasure.
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5. |
Nobody's God
04:18
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I am not accountable to an ant.
Still I make demands
expecting no answer from above.
Why the sense of symmetry?
Why the sense that it all makes sense?
Why the fantasy of justice
if all the world is graceless?
I can’t see the full sum
I can see enough of negative
Indifference wouldn’t be so strange if I were not human.
There is a man who has dissolved.
He was always known to lend a hand.
It was overused, ripped off, thrown away.
Then he gave the other one;
the result was the same
He gave his feet -
their skin was scraped off by gravel
which his toes then became.
He continued across the land helping everyone.
His limbs carried off on the wind.
His left leg was ripped off to become a cane.
His blood mixed with all the earth’s mud.
His chest didn’t seem so useful til someone needed a pillow.
His teeth made jewelry.
His hair - a rope,
His tongue - a sponge.
After everything else was gone his skull was taken for a cup.
He wasn’t a man anymore,
only dust, maybe dust.
Kindness is gruesome.
The other night while I drove
I had such a stark picture stuck behind my eyes-
My face buried in her blouse.
Her beautiful, blameless, blue blouse soaked.
Her hands holding my still-pouring head,
accepting the surrender.
It even had the itch of pleasure.
But man is not a river -
there is pride in every quiver.
So I took the wrong corner and went back into town.
I might be wrong to hold on to pride and dignity
But there’s strength in being a pebble.
Power’s not so pretty to me.
She’d never take my weakness from me.
She’d never take my kindness from me.
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6. |
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7. |
Everybody's God
03:33
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I want to grab life
and take a bite,
let the juice roll down my neck.
Maybe I need to be a sponge
lying on the ground
to soak up all around.
Or I need to dissolve
dissolve in joy all around.
It can feel good
to be crushed by God’s hand.
But later on
you can feel sore.
Oh what a powerful face
I have seen in the crowd.
Everything attesting to
God’s glory all around.
God can shine through you.
God shines through clouds.
Marvel at the modern architecture.
and marvel at God’s nature.
Marvel at the beauty of nature.
Dissolve in beauty all around.
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8. |
Other Love
03:05
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I don’t wanna find
no other love.
People get attached
O that’s how they act.
Coz love makes sense of life
it seems so important.
Heard love is a game
but games are what we love.
Nothing is more serious
than a simple game.
Love may attack
without warning.
It’s the most familiar thing
that there ever was.
So I’m not sure that there is
any other love.
Are there many types of joy
or only one?
Are there many types of pain
or only one?
Can’t you find me in your heart?
I know I found you in mine.
Longing lasts a long time.
Don’t know if there are others I will find.
Still want to see you recognize me
want to see your eyes grow wide
then a smile before you’re thinking.
Want to hear your whispering.
Can’t you see the light in me?
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9. |
Sincere Sketches
03:44
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10. |
Platonic
08:18
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I would like to
live without a body.
I’ve heard there's only the physical.
I’m not sure that’s true.
They say the rest is illusion.
Well I may be an illusion too.
Fleshy pleasures
are wasted on me.
Fleshy pleasures
aren't what they're cracked up to be.
I’ve heard we live only for pleasure.
Whether base or cultured,
they call all of it pleasure.
It still won’t explain all I do.
Sounds don’t have bodies
and they are real enough for me.
Being a wave, being a wave.
might make one holy, not melancholy.
I’ve heard there's no noble love.
It's all only transactional.
But we all can feel real love
and we can all take part in beauty.
Please don’t reduce love.
No don’t reduce love,
don’t make it cheap and tawdry.
O don’t reduce love,
O then you'll lose love.
It’s not explained evolutionarily.
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11. |
Easy Changes
02:10
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We should look at artwork
like we look at mountains.
We should look at mountains
like we look at artwork.
Take it seriously
while you are laughing.
Ooowaa ooowaaa ooowaaa
hahahahahaha.
How's it gonna be
to love so completely?
You can change quite easily.
O don’t let it make you worry.
Try to make the best of
every situation.
Every situation
can be your guest.
It's all particular,
you can find some value.
You can find some value
in all the particulars.
You can run the bases.
Base your runs on something.
I don’t know - just do it for fun
Keep your eye on the ball.
Don't swing til it gets close.
Keep your eye on the ball.
All you gotta do is make some contact.
How’s it gonna be
to listen so sincerely?
You don't have to change completely.
Just reverse the order, see what you can see.
Even in baseball you can play but you don’t have to compete.
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12. |
Spirit Talk
04:30
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I haven't been afraid in awhile
not like the people in movies
running all over the place
screaming uncontrollably.
Then again I've never seen
a spirit gliding towards me
visible and audible
inexplicably.
Are all the bunnies I see in the night
terrified of me?
Running in fear from me?
Coz they can’t explain what they see?
[Should we be afraid
of spirits anyway?
If they are at all
they’re immaterial]
I want to be
familiar with everything.
There would no fear
I’d try to hear the great spirit sing.
You'll talk about spirits but not about God.
O baby baby isn't that odd?
You don’t look around for the great spirit.
It’s not found by buying tickets.
God doesn’t have a body, anymore.
No, God doesn’t have a body, no, no.
Is a person shaped by times of great stress
or is it times of long rest?
What you do as a choice
matters more than when you’re forced.
Doesn't take a womanizer
to make you a woman.
Doesn't take an advertiser
to make you a plan.
No, baby don't have to compete.
No, you don’t have to act that way.
Appreciate what's at your feet,
while you’re thinking you can pray.
It's making me worried -
all my disagreeing.
I feel displeased
with everything around me.
O it irritates me so
when you claim to know what you don’t know.
You think there is nothing you can’t understand.
Maybe that’s true, but not at yr command.
God knows whether God’s real
I want to be
familiar with everything.
I want to hear
the great spirit sing.
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13. |
Great Love
05:19
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I’ve got a great love in me
hiding.
I’ve got a great love in me.
It’s hidden pretty deep.
I’ve got a great love in me.
I feel it in my dreams.
I’ve got a great love in me.
I feel it in my sleep.
I’ve got a great love in me
hiding.
I’ve got a great love in me.
It’s hidden in my dreams.
Love is no secret
so why do I feel I keep it?
I shall love, I shall love
but how shall I love?
I shall love, I shall love
but what’s the right way to love?
I shall love, commanded to love,
but should I show love or hide love?
I’ve got a great wave in me.
I feel it crashing.
I have a great wave in me.
I feel it crashing, never overlapping.
I’ve got a great wave.
I feel it crashing. I feel it cresting
I hear it crashing.
I’ve got a great love in me
I’ve got a great wave in me.
I feel it cresting.
I’ve got a great love in me
never resting.
I’ve got a great love in me.
How do you set love free?
I’ve got a great love in me.
How does one set it free?
I’ve got a great love in me.
Can one set love free?
Well I got a love, I gotta love.
I’m told I gotta love - I’ve got to love.
I’ve got a great love in me
hiding.
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14. |
Visions
02:38
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Think of sand in the moonlight,
waves lapping up flames across grass,
blurry heat silhouetting,
sand turning to melting glass -
the moonlight made solid.
You’ve found a place that’s never closed.
It takes some work to never close.
But here open is easier.
Water does not stop,
but water gets gentler.
Think of waves on your forehead,
the moon washing your face,
blue above and around you.
The sky begins where you end
and you breathe out the wind.
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15. |
Verbs
04:36
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“To die” is not an active verb.
It happens - it isn’t done.
"Being sneezed on", "being spit upon"
those are verbs, those are things I do.
You need to find what you should endure
and what you cannot stand to stomach.
Then you might live well with others
But patience in one is not enough for some
When you live beneath other people
you sometimes wonder if they’re knocking on your ceiling
or only walking on their floor.
I’ve never been able to know for sure.
I s’pose I'm OK with being on display.
It seems you always are anyway.
I didn't wonder if my friendships were hollow,
but I heard that empty sound in others.
I don’t wish to prove my honesty,
but sincerity still worries me.
I s’pose we’ve all become strangers once,
leaving our familiar homes.
There’s some mystery in every face
and great distances in a tiny space.
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16. |
Power Dynamics
05:52
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Her smile’s so oppressive,
so it’s all he can see.
She puts him in the hallway
and tells him he’s set free.
She’s never too aggressive -
not when he wants her to be.
Her power holds him in sway,
but he thought he had equality.
He wasn’t afraid
of the lapdog life.
He hated power.
No desire for a throne.
Didn't understand the paranoid towers.
Now he’s lying prone.
That's a problem with power -
if you don't want it, you don't get it,
and the others grab it all.
He made a career
out of missing her.
Her eyes seemed so corrosive.
He couldn't love or leave.
She never really saw him.
She said he was never free.
In his head he feels explosive,
at a door without a key.
For being meek and mild,
the reward's a mystery.
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17. |
What's Out of Control
07:49
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“Who will wear my ring?”
He said, “Whom shall I wed?”
Laughing, she says, “it’s only up to him.
Watching him it’s clear to me
the power of self-deceit.”
She appears to him mirthfully.
Unfortunately not mercifully.
Well she’s no fruitful prospect.
He thinks, “Please don’t suspect, don’t expect.”
She says, “You shouldn’t worry so”
She’s no angel but how does she know?
“You’ve got to make your own fate,”
she says, “but for you it may be too late.”
She grins. He wonders “Is she it?
Has she thought of having kids?”
O she’s not interested,
but she wouldn’t say it’s been determined.
There’s no sole control
over the fulfillment of the soul.
If your idle hands are the devil’s tools
then you were never any good.
You need to know what you control
not only what you’re told.
There’s only one real you,
and it’s no real mystery.
Take a look at what you do -
there’s your big discovery.
No deeper self than that,
nothing hidden actually.
If you try to stay busy so you don’t sin,
you only avoid the trouble you’re in.
Can’t you be alone in your room
without distraction?
Can’t you turn away from temptation
without distraction?
Be aware of your self
and what’s out of control.
I know I have some control.
I know I’m responsible.
But how horrible it would be,
if even our ideas were not free.
If our minds were a plaything,
not free in word or deed.
But I don’t see
how I could be deceived.
I don’t know what it means for freedom to be imaginary.
Weddings aren’t meant to be endings
and so far his has not come.
A beginning off in the distance
makes an ending seem quite tame.
He still remembers those
women who could have been
the bride for whom he still waits.
He has become
more accustomed to the pain of love
than to the joy.
Still his life is guided by
one desperate hope
made more powerful by
it’s unlikelihood.
It’s so common but so particular.
Do we control our hope?
It may be instilled in us
but still we feel we can fulfill
out of our sheer free will.
Only total control
could answer every hope.
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18. |
Left To Say
04:24
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What is there left to say?
I feel the weight of history.
Does it matter either way
if I make discoveries?
History has an end
but it’s always moving on.
By whose power does it bend?
By whose carriage is it drawn?
All the prophetic dreams
don’t mean anything
’til they have been proven,
and it’s too late to use them.
All the words have to be old
if they’re going to work.
But new uses are found
in the world of sight & sound.
Can art's problems become solved?
Is there progress to be made?
Are the paintings in the hall
better than those in the cave?
When pleasure’s not the aim
living life can become strange.
Is it great to toil to make
art for others’ pleasure’s sake?
How am I supposed to live?
Should I only try to write
carefree songs repetitive
that keep the pain out of sight?
You cannot choose to be good
when you don’t know what’s right.
Context can't be understood
without historical light.
If history is controlled,
I’m even more confused.
Maybe when I’m old
I’ll know what I now should do.
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19. |
Searchers
03:38
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I caught a glimpse of your face,
so I took off over the land.
(Always ended on a beach)
The horizon is not a place,
so you were always out of reach,
just past the tip of my hand.
I thought I needed you,
but I haven’t died yet.
So maybe it isn’t true,
but I wouldn’t place any bets.
Your breath is on every wind,
your thoughts are in my mind.
But I can’t only breath you in.
Just teach me how to be kind.
I caught a glimpse of your face,
then I dropped in on the floor.
When you think you can’t go any more west, you just go west some more.
If it’s all only imaginary,
I wouldn’t mind at all.
Even if I’m only chasing fairies,
I’ll walk until I have to crawl.
I caught a glimpse of your face,
so I’m still searching over the land.
Won’t stop until I find some grace
and feel my soul begin to expand.
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20. |
The Idiot Gambler
04:58
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I’ll always place all my bets on you.
I don’t have much to lose.
There isn’t much I have accrued
betting on you.
I still place all my chips on you,
even if they only add up to two.
I open myself up for abuse.
I can be your poor knight if I want to.
I can be pathetic and devoted too.
I can let myself be eroded too.
Still won’t know if we win or lose.
Devotion’s not so tasteful,
kindness is embarrassing.
I’ve been a proud man
not for any real reason.
It’s can be easy
to make symmetry,
and you sometimes see
simple sympathy.
I am still wishing
to live like Prince Myshkin,
to love like Prince Myshkin,
but there’s a problem.
One becomes bothersome,
but I don’t know how.
Kindness becomes bothersome.
I’m not sure why.
Kindness is easily understood.
It’s not easily done.
It’s punished repeatedly.
It takes responsibility.
It’s strong and sure of itself.
Unconcerned with recognition,
reaches out to those that flee with flaws,
casual with all, withal,
tries not to control,
It withstands.
Kindness withstands.
Don’t turn away.
Don’t be afraid to love more
than you are loved.
And try to learn just how to love.
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Conductors Chicago, Illinois
"Mona tried to tell me
To stay away from the train line
She said that all the railroad
men
Just drink up your blood like wine
An’ I said, 'Oh, I didn’t know that
But then again, there’s only one I’ve met
An’ he just smoked my eyelids
An’ punched my cigarette' "
... more
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